So You Want to Celebrate?
You are about to embark on the exciting, and sometimes challenging, process of planning a B'nei Mitzvah. In the months to come, you will be spending a lot of time supporting your student as he or she learns the Torah and Haftarah portions, composes the D'var Torah (the sermon), and prepares to lead the service.
The information here is designed to help you plan the party that goes along with your ceremony, placing the entire day within a Jewish and community-oriented spirit. Start to think early about who you might want to include in your ceremony and if there are any special readings or family traditions that you want included. Tailor your reception to your family's personality, interests, and budget.
A B'nei Mitzvah party is an extension of the ceremony and part of Jewish tradition. In Judaism, we are commanded to celebrate a happy event, or Simcha. Consider how to make your reception reflect the Jewish nature of the day.
A B'nei Mitzvah ceremony is a community-wide event. The Beth Shalom community is encouraged to attend all B'nei Mitzvah services, as our presence will only add to the joy of the day. You are encouraged to invite all the children in your student's Religious School class to the service and reception, as classmates are your child's most immediate Jewish community. Whether you choose to email or snail mail your invitations, the office can provide the contact information you need.
A small Kiddush, with small cups of wine or juice and challah, immediately follows the service. To allow the B'nei Mitzvah family to be with their guests and celebrate, this Kiddush is provided by classmates' families. Our office sends a SignUp Genius to all B'nei Mitzvah families, in which each family is asked to provide Kiddush for someone else's ceremony. This includes setting it up and cleaning up when it's done. The SignUp Genius goes out in the winter, before the first B'nei Mitzvah of the class takes place.
Many families ask about the Oneg the night before the ceremony. The B'nei Mitzvah family is asked to provide additional food proportional to the number of guests who will be joining them. If you will have 10 additional guests at Shabbat evening services, then a platter of cookies would be appropriate. You might also want to provide a special cake or napkins and plates in a favorite color.
If you would like additional help in planning your Simcha, there are some wonderful resources:
Book: Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Meaning of Your Child's Bar or Bat Mitzvah
Don't forget the knowledge and support of other Beth Shalom families through our Beth Shalom B'nei Mitzvah Parents Group Facebook Page, which is accessible only by members.